Triangle
by pooktales
Summary: A love triangle to end all love triangles: Faltheriel's final romantic misadventure! What do two elf men and a crazy cat lady have to do with one another? It's a threesome that actually works. A modern-day love story set in the Warcraft universe.


**Triangle**

(Disclaimer: This story is based upon a game called World of Warcraft. Therefore, I do not claim any rights to their story, or game.)

This is an experiment. I want to try and see if I can imagine what a homosexual relationship might be like and do that justice. As a writer, I'd like to be able to write about all kinds of romance. Hopefully, what follows is a realistic, romantic, and responsible depiction of two gay men falling in love. Also, here's fair warning that the rest of this story (once I get around to updating it since it takes place in a modern-day Outland in the My Life for My Prince universe, after that series ends) will have explicit love scenes between these two male characters and also a woman that I'll add later. Definitely not safe for work. Both Dannox and Faltheriel are bisexual by the way, with Dan just now coming out of the closet. If that isn't your cup of tea… you already know what's up, so no complaining. Heh.

Thanks in advance for reading! Reviews are always welcome. There probably won't be a forum for this story. It's pretty self-explanatory and I intend for it to be low maintenance.

**Prologue: A love story within a love story**

Dannox found himself staring at the handsome Blood Elf. It was embarrassing and he tried to turn back around.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The Kal'dorei watched the Sin'dorei like a cat. Suddenly offended, arrogant, better than him.

"You know, it's supposed to be the other way around with our people." The Sin'dorei said.

"Look… I don't swing that way."

"Maybe it's just a manly drink then."

"I'm here with someone, alright."

"Neither of those meant No."

The Blood Elf, who swiftly introduced himself as Faltheriel leaned a little on the palm of his right hand, which put him closer to Dannox who returned the gesture.

"What a _good_ name." Faltheriel meant it. He was in awe.

"Please, you can't be getting _off_ on my name. Don't act like that."

"So you admit that you're interested in what's going on down in my pants?" At this, the bartender dropped off the vodka. It was naked and dry.

Dan was so surprised by the bold question he just leaned there looking at the drink and this strange man who'd dared to buy it for him anyway.

"My _girlfriend_ just went to the bathroom." Dan reluctantly lifted the other hand that held a long orange purse. "She's coming right back."

Faltheriel looked up, straight ahead, and smiled prettily. Blonde hair slipped over his shoulder when he turned a bit, pushed the drink closer to Dan.

"Come on. You hate that thing. You're not a woman's man now are you?"

Dan tossed his date's purse on the counter.

"She'll be mad at you for that. It's very expensive, I can tell. And it'll get beer stains on it."

"So you're womanish. Is that what's supposed to get me going here? Look, I don't get it."

Faltheriel stepped down from his barstool, looked at Dannox with real compassion.

"You want to try? You see… you never know until you try."

Dannox had a really hard time with this and took too long to answer. His date, a charismatic Night Elf woman with a loud voice came hopping back over and fairly jumped on his back. She was incredibly drunk and begged Dan to take her home, 'she was ready' she kept saying.

Faltheriel dared to linger. He saw the other man's fear.

"Come home with _me_." He whispered.

A tense moment.

"Hey, this someone you know?" The purple Night Elf woman slipped a little but Dan didn't even try to catch her. Faltheriel did instead. He introduced himself. "Oh I see… where do you guys know each other from? Danny? He's obviously some friend of yours…"

Her sloppy smile went unacknowledged.

"Look Fal,"

"Fal… I like that."

"Well that doesn't matter. I gotta go—"

"But honey, who ish he?"

Dannox took his girlfriend away.

"I can fuck you better than she can." It was cavalier and vile and wrong. Dan half-turned, girlfriend in his arms. He snarled, but Faltheriel rose to the challenge and liked it.

"Don't kid yourself, sin'dorei. You're tiny."

"So's she. You can't even fit inside of her, can you?"

Dan was offended and felt he had to leave after that.

"Eighty-five, seventy-two Zangar Avenue. See you after midnight, Dannox."

After a deeply unsatisfying night with his date, Dan hated himself for remembering the address. Well, he didn't have it perfect but the Blood Elf Faltheriel was hanging out of his window watching the street. He whistled sharply for Dannox who looked up two stories. Faltheriel waved him in. The doorman saw—the place was that nice—and wordlessly held the gold doors open for Dan.

There was the beau in the window. Flowing golden hair, but not a princess. A man, a real man, a dangerous man he knew. Everything was perfect, falling into place. Dan didn't want to go inside. He was afraid at first… because he wanted it to be right. He felt on the cusp of it and wanted to embrace it so badly. But what if it was weird? He couldn't stand for this to be a mistake, after he'd waited so long…

"I have cake," Faltheriel suggested.

Dannox laughed. Well, he did like cake.

It turned out that Faltheriel was lying about the cake. Dan didn't care by then though. The apartment was beautiful and so was its owner. It wasn't that Faltheriel was smaller than him. His build was lighter and he came up to Dan's shoulder but that wasn't it. It was that Faltheriel was a man, definitely a man. He always assumed that gays would be womanish, sashay about. Faltheriel fixed him another naked, dry vodka. The glass was short and fat and he slammed it a little on the table between them.

A silver ash tray with a half finished cigar sat nearby that along with the Sunday paper.

"You're reading this now?" Dan wondered because it was Friday.

"I bribe the man to bring it to me early." Faltheriel sat back in the chair pulled out by the open window. He propped his feet up and put the cigar back in his mouth. Dan saw that this stranger had waited up for him. A man… would do that for another man?

"This is weird, isn't it?"

Faltheriel leaned back on two chairlegs and inhaled a long drag that burned a bright orange ring up the edge of the fat cigar in the dark room. Dan waited even longer, but that was his answer.

"Ah. So then… it's only weird for me."

"Depends."

Dan kept wanting Faltheriel to finish his sentences but he was too into the cigar. Then, he realized Faltheriel was fiddling with the cigar because he was nervous. That's how much Faltheriel liked him. That felt… so good.

Dan pulled a chair close and busied his hands with the newspaper when that turned out to be too close.

Faltheriel cleared his throat and set his own seat right again. They didn't say anything for a while, just looked out into the night. Dan gazed at the moon. Faltheriel smiled absently at the stars.

"You're gorgeous." Faltheriel broke down and said. He leaned his chin in a palm and smiled some more.

Dan felt himself heat right up. It wasn't his drink, he hadn't touched it yet. He took a big swig now. But it still came out a little helpless.

"Thank you."

"Of course you're a druid too… you look like you could break a person in half but you're so calm about it. Only a profound sort of inner peace could settle someone so."

Dan scratched the back of his neck. "Wow. Thanks."

"No compliments for me then."

"I've… not done this before."

"I know. But I want you to try. That _is_ why you came here right, to try?"

"How were you right about everything?" Dan scratched through his short hair. "She hates the sex, I can tell. It's mostly looking at me that gets her off I think. And I _hate_ that goddamn purse."

Faltheriel had not finished his cigar but put it out. He wasn't being impatient though. He was trying to listen.

"But I _like_ women. That's what I don't get. I like pussy. It smells good, it tastes good—"

Faltheriel let out a low whistle. "I'm not your mother, but that swearing is starting to cross a line."

"Argh, what am I even doing here—"

"Please, go on. Nevermind it… maybe I was just a little surprised. But it's sexy on you really. Yes, yes it is very becoming on you, with your sharp canine teeth and those long ears. The dirty words make you even more feline, daring violent language... Oh, and that was a tangent. Excuse me."

Dan smiled unexpectedly. "Well you're so proper and whatnot… you enunciate every single goddamn word. I like that on you."

Faltheriel smiled brightly. He could be cheerful and annoying too, Dan sensed it. But it was like when he offered him cake but didn't really have any. No, the Blood Elf was mostly charming, but also sneaky. It was… cute.

Dan told Faltheriel he thought he was cute.

"Do you like dicks too?"

Dannox swallowed. Sure he'd thought it before, but hearing another man say it, and a good-looking man…

"God, yes."

Faltheriel leaned further in, rested elbows on his knees and folded his hands together the way Dan was sitting. They both hesitated. Dan realized that Faltheriel was looking at the bulge between his legs. It was hard to ignore now. And he'd been gazing at Faltheriel too.

"Well then," Faltheriel mostly breathed it. "If you're sure about that, there's nothing left to stop us." He got up and simply walked away. Dan realized that his date was going into the bedroom and wanted him to follow.

Faltheriel leaned out of the doorway. "Come on, Big Dan. You never know, I might have cake."

Dan laughed and went to have him or the cake. It occurred to him that Faltheriel could have leaned out of that window and called so sweetly that he had dick and that would have worked too. Better. In fact, had he? It was certainly what Faltheriel's voice made Dan see at that moment.

When Faltheriel kissed him, it was so sure and aggressive but yet… sweet. Dan allowed himself to acknowledge that a man could be sweet, even if he did taste like a dry cigar and vodka. The firm kiss was invigorating. Dan kissed back harder, opened wide his mouth while Faltheriel unbuttoned his shirt. The fingers were also strong and sure. They grasped at his muscles, seized his buttocks momentarily while Dan laughed.

"Why are you laughing at me… it isn't funny what I'm doing, is it?"

Dan apologized. Faltheriel caught him in a fierce bear hug around his waist and rubbed his hard penis against Dan's. While they knelt on the bed, he encouraged Dan to push his pelvis against his and they humped, hard.

This was different than all the other times… they could have been wrestling. Dan was breathing hard. The excitement was new and almost too much. He nearly came right then. Faltheriel got a little angry and did something then that was supposed to be physically impossible. He strained his muscles, picked Dan up enough to unseat him and slammed him into the mattress.

"The hell—"

"Not without me." Faltheriel lay ontop of him and kissed him again. Dan was confused but even that was something. "You've got to wait, alright? Wait for me, Danny."

Danny. That was perfect.

"Fal. You can have whatever the hell you want, but don't stop." It was a little desperate. Too happy.

Faltheriel pushed inside of him. Dan was startled to feel his own penis and the balls press into Faltheriel's stomach. There was so much pressure and nowhere for him to go. And no one had ever been… _inside_ of him before, in that place. If it wasn't so stimulating, new and thrilling for someone so sexy to be doing it to him… then it could have surely been uncomfortable. Dan started to like it.

But there seemed to be a trade off. Faltheriel was fierce and handsome, sexy when he did this. The passion and the joy came all out in his face. Dan was so happy to see it, happy that he wasn't alone anymore.

"What a cock—"

Faltheriel arched his back and sneered at trying so hard not to finish. He pulled out and sucked hard on Dan's penis instead.

"Oh, goddess—"

Faltheriel was unafraid of how large Dannox was. He let him slide deep into his throat and Dan thrusted. He reached down and put both hands on Faltheriel's blonde head and pushed. Just when the first blow of blinding passion subsided and Dan regained common sense, he wondered if he was in fact choking his lover. As soon as he thought it, Faltheriel bit him.

It was a little nick that hurt… so good. But it wasn't meant to be good. Dan felt stupid and pulled out while Faltheriel gagged a little.

"You big dumb bear. Come here." Faltheriel reached around and picked him up again, actually heaved Dannox ontop him.

"Now you do it. Fuck me."

"I thought I was—"

"Not yet." Faltheriel grinded against him for a while. "Hell, I'll do it for you. You sweet sexy beast…" Faltheriel turned over and backed directly onto him.

Dan almost fell backward. Perhaps he always imagined that it would be unnatural… but never perfect. Right now it was perfect. The pressure, the friction, it was so excellent. He found the courage to thrust forward once and maybe either break his partner or ruin the position, but Faltheriel bucked for him and Dan saw stars. Or was it the sliver of a window that he could still see from the bedroom? Where his chair had toppled over. Had he truly done that? Run after this man into the bedroom, so eager to have him?

Better than with a woman. It only took one try. One precious effort. Dan came. It was messy, it got all over the place. He fell onto his back, mouth open, smiling, dreaming. A beautiful man leaned over him and kissed his lips.

"Oh… Where am I?"

"With me Danny."

And Dan looked down to enjoy the sight of his cock. He always had, no need to pretend now. There was another one there too, so close by, snaking with his. The muscles of the united erection so tense and turgid that they trembled with the strain. Both of them coming and flowing over one another. It looked so damned good.

When they were done, Faltheriel lay down beside Dannox.

"We had sex." Dan couldn't stop smiling.

"Well, we aren't the first men to invent it you know, though I'm incredibly flattered by the compliment."

"No, you're wrong, Fal. We did. We're the first ones."

Faltheriel kissed him. Dan fearlessly returned the affection.

Why complain? He couldn't argue with the man's sense of beauty, his take on what is. "Danny, if it makes you feel better, then yes. Of course we were the first ones. In fact, I planned it while you were coming over. I invented it just for you."

"Oh, stop fucking with me. I see now how much of a virgin I just sounded."

"It's still true though, I think. That was good, so good. I want it to be my first time too now."

"Fuck you, Faltheriel." Dan closed his eyes though, contented. He looked ready to sleep.

"What? I don't understand…"

"I keep looking at your dick and thinking of chocolate cake. I don't think I'll ever be able to separate the two. Are you so sure you don't have any around here?"

Faltheriel laughed out loud. "How about you stay the night, Danny, and I'll buy you some first thing in the morning."

"You mean… like a date?"

"Oh hell, call it whatever you want. Just don't walk out on me okay? I need to do this a few more times with you or else I'll go crazy."

"Yes, my life would really suck if I… ever left you."

The weight of it scared them a little.

"One thing at a time though." Faltheriel inched down the bed, kissed the head of Dan's big penis and came back. "Sleep well Dannox. I'm so glad you came over."

"I'm glad you hit on me. I was too damned scared to do it. Worth it though." Then, realizing how romantic it sounded but daring not to let it bother him,

"Good night Faltheriel."

Faltheriel wrapped his arms around Dannox's middle and lay his head on his stomach. Dan took a chance and hugged the man back.

It was more than right. They woke up together that way hours later to the dawn, and it was even better. Dan forgot that he had a girlfriend but that turned out to be okay. The Night Elf woman assumed that he left her for someone else, probably—and a little jealously—assumed it was some blonde bimbo elf with lots of money to throw at her Danny, who could spoil him rotten and put out for Dan the way she could never do. This was the fantasy woman he always half-joked with her about. And then he would come back after a few weeks, begging and apologizing like always… Except that Dan never did come back. Faltheriel wasn't just everything he had ever dreamed of.

Faltheriel turned out to be his man, his love… the best damned cake Dannox ever had.

_Chief Editor Mayweather turned up her nose at that last line…_

"…best damned cake Dannox ever had… Okay, so Rachel, _Lady_ Rachel I believe it is? This is pretty stupid, I think. And the fairy tale reference, between two men? I mean, come on."

The Human woman named exhaled a breath and leaned back in the desk chair.

"They kicking you again?" the stick up her ass Dwarf complained.

"Why would you think I was having twins?"

"Well…" then the adjustment of a gold-rimmed monocle, "You're _huge_."

"It's not as if I set out to be this way, honestly! And I didn't make up the thing about the cake, it really happened and there was even something kinky after, that Faltheriel told me about involving them and the cake he bought for Danny the next morning, which…" She forced herself to take a breath, "… and two men can _so_ have a beautiful romance. Falthy and Danny were only able to sweep me off my feet because they were already in such amazing love with each other… So sad that one of them didn't make it, after all we went through… Ow!"

"Must have been the Night Elf then, the druid who's the father, am I right?"

Rachel lay her head on the desk. "I'm a widow, a widow! Please don't make me go through this again, and whichever father didn't survive is an outlaw by now, to be sure. But nevermind that. Did you like the story or not? That was honest, sincere writing, pretty much the way Falthy and Danny told it to me—well, grant it, biased and in swatches—a year ago."

Mayweather scratched her gray bun and paced about the wood desk between them. The office was larger than it should have been, for a beginning columnist. But Rachel wasn't any widow, she was a rich widow, and a celebrity in Shatthrath City because of the recent scandal. If the woman wanted a job at the first Outland newspaper (which May had stupidly named the Shat Post), even if it was only to tell her story and set the record straight, then of course she was going to get an office with four walls a window, and a chair to rest a spreading backside and swollen ankles.

Rachel caught onto the critical look. "I used to be… so skinny." She pouted. "Stupid Dannox and his miracle-cock. And Faltheriel wasn't any help either, that sweet-talker… and both of them left me!" That ended in unhappy grumbling to herself.

"You still seem fond of Faltheriel Darkweaver and Dannox Di'la Luna."

More pouting. "They aren't the bad guys everyone says… _and_ they were hot."

"They were murderers. And all due respect, both dead now, gods-willing."

"Only one of them… I'm not clarifying whom, because the Shatthrath City Guard are the ones investigating that, and I already gave my confession."

Mayweather crossed her stubby arms. "Well, exactly. You came to me because you wanted to tell your side of the story, explain how you got so knocked up and rich and blameless of murder though the blood and magic was all over your hands… But you haven't really got anything to tell, do you? Not about the crime anyways. Though what comes before…" and she eyed Rachel's belly button peeking out of the expensive silk shirt she'd bought but still couldn't manage to stuff into her pants. You'd think the young woman would have figured out that she didn't exactly have a waist anymore. "This is the first time anyone in Shatthrath City is going to read anything that isn't about war or the Burning Legion or that infuriating King Kael'thas. Tell them, Rachel, what is obviously an entertaining story… before your boyfriends died that is."

"Husbands."

"Hunh?"

Rachel sighed, and chose not to go through with explaining it, how close she and Faltheriel and Dannox really were. Not when it seemed the whole world was in denial about their kind of love.

"It wasn't scandalous exactly… and I don't want to make light of it. But then again, if people knew what they were really like, it would go over better in the courts, right?"

Mayweather leaned over the desk. "You told me that you met those two five years after they got together. No one is going to read five years' worth of two guys getting it on, while we wait for you to set foot on the scene. And I doubt you were doing anything interesting with your life in the meantime. Start in the thick of things, sweetheart, in media-res."

Well, Rachel really hadn't been doing anything interesting in the meanwhile, but to tell her to her face... But that wasn't the point, really. "Hey May… that's offensive, you know. Dan and Falthy… what they have—had—was really beautiful. And I miss them. I miss how they included me. It was a triangle really."

"Perfect! A love triangle. I like it. Write that." She flared her fingers, imagining exactly where the words would fall in the oversized headline. "Rachel the Cat-woman and her dirty tales of—"

"No."

"How to meet two men in ten days—"

"It was a lot longer than that—"

"How to have the best sex of your life! From the horse's mouth herself. That wasn't a shot at your weight, mind you… but you get the idea, something like that."

The older woman strutted away on black heels, opened the door.

"…As soon as I'm done writing this thing, I'm going to quit, you know."

"Well whyever would you do that, dearie?"

Rachel scrutinized the mocking smile, the laughter on the verge of a most condescending sort of snort… and decided that yes, she had the balls to do it, because she had money. Between Faltheriel and Danny's wills, she was well-taken care of, for once in her life.

"Because you are the biggest bitch I've ever met. And I'm tired of having jack-assed bosses."

Mayweather grinned, put a hand on her hip. Damn her tiny waist! Even for a Dwarf!

"But you are the one they call a crazy cat-lady, hot non-existent boyfriends, bank vaults full of gold, and all."

Stupid Chester started snoring right then. He was a very fat orange cat by now, that was Dannox's fault. But would anyone believe her if she told them that? Nooo…

The scrying orb flickered on while Rachel squinted through another baby-sized kick to her gut. A new innovation, just in this season… the portable magic communication device gave off a pleasant ring so that you couldn't miss it if you just happened to be looking the other way.

"You're not afraid to answer are you? Come on…" because this is the second time it rang in a few moments. The first one was abrupt, it disconnected itself. The second monotonous echo pleaded, it was interminable. A shrouded figure in a swirl of red magic. It had horns.

Rachel sucked in her bottom lip and admitted, "It could be… the Burning Legion. And there are people following me… the only place I feel safe is here in this office really, when I write."

Mayweather drywashed her hands, then made the executive decision. She snatched it up and demanded, "Hello! Hello? Who is this, and why are you bothering my very well-endowed, star columnist…"

It was a private message, the speaker whispered only to the one who picked up. Chester heard whatever it was while Mayweather seemed to draw a blank. He meowed brightly, but got up too fast with his bulk, wagged his fat assed cat tail off the desk.

Old May hung up the phone. "Rachel… you have a lot of issues."

"I didn't really hear anything more than heavy breathing though, from where I was?"

Chester was so loud now that May growled a little, threatened to kick him. Rachel warned her boss not to kick 'their baby', the 'they' should have been more than obvious by now.

"No, I don't doubt that the Burning Legion is after you, come back to finish off what you and your boyfriends started… You want me to post extra guard, hon, while you write? I really don't think you should go back to your apartment—"

"It was Falthy's place, actually… Alright, I'll stay here and write the thing. Have the baby here, die here… my life just keeps getting better and better, don't it?"

"And if you're uncomfortable at all, you can just donate what you want to the paper and we can improve your accommodations…"

"Just leave, please… well order me a Thalassian pizza, arcane crystals on the side of course, and like three cartons of Consortium glass noodles with moonberry sauce--not on the side, tell them to slather it on--do that for me first then get out, mmkay?"

Much grumbling and _I so hate_ you looks later and the two women went back to their lives. Rachel picked up her plumed stylus. The end was chewed, wet and frayed. That was Chester's fault. The reader wanted sensation, a break from the mundane stories of Outland and Azeroth, Old May had said. Well, King Kael'thas' seduction of the Horde was one thing that no one could help, it was depressing to revisit, but still people insisted on writing about it, it was in all the headlines. Too many other people were stuck reading it. The spirit of warcraft was decaying, with fewer battles to be fought, time for leisure gave rise to greater narcissism and people's personal entertainment became most important. Once upon a time, Shatthrath City had just been a sanctuary, but now it had become so urban with even faction lines blurring… Sex however was a mainstay, May was right. Just perfect to lighten the mood of today's fast-paced, no-time-for-raiding, controlled environment 'person versus person' bloodless combat that rewarded government-grade epics like candy at Hallow's End, and 'I get my daily quest check from the Shatar so who even leaves the city to adventure anymore' lifestyle… And while the readers were busy gorging themselves on glittering scandal, she could still clear her husbands' names. If no one was paying too much attention while they laughed their asses off at her sort of—okay so it definitely was—lame-o pathetic life, Rachel knew that she might just be able to pull it off.

"But it's their story, not mine. Chester, what do you think? Do you think people will mind hearing my commentary the whole way through, since I have to tell it but don't want to be in it really… I mean, it's not just about sex-starved Night Elves or zealous Blood Elf criminals this time around. It's about like… Well what the hell _is_ it about if not those things?"

Chester finally helped himself back up onto the desk from a nearby chair, sat and glared at her, the way cats do.

_Duh…_he seemed to say.

Rachel admitted to herself why she was so opposed to the scandal idea. She wrote…

_Triangle: How to have the best sex of your life, by Rachel McBride._

"That's exactly how it was too, but it's sooo damned embarrassing, Chester! I can't write that, people will think I'm a freak if I tell them what really happened between us! Besides, no one is going to believe that I didn't embellish. They'll think I made up the whole thing to get attention… rather than telling the truth to… um… get attention."

Chester lay on his belly and purred. He was laughing at her, somehow Rachel knew this. And what was the joke? Why hide how loony she was? No one was going to take her seriously anyway…

_Lady Rachel McBride,_She corrected, _…also known as The Crazy Cat Lady._

"Read this… at your own… risk." Rachel scratched out at last. "Better?"

The scrying orb did its one ring then never-ending ring once more. Chester watched it, he wanted to pounce on it. Rachel was intrigued too, she picked it up and answered.

More heavy breathing. She waved her hand and turned the scrying orb off.

"The Burning Legion is _not_ supposed to be sexy you know. Either… things aren't exactly as they seem, Chester, and my baby's daddies, or babies' daddy or whatever, are still hanging around afterall, or I'm getting the hots for a damned stalker-murderer they sent to finish the job." Or both. Rachel squinted at how awful that sounded in her head. "Being pregnant is really bad for my already jacked up personality. I'm so horny, this whole thing is bound to come off really skanky… While I'm obviously setting here, writing and waiting to _die._"

And in her state, that even sounded good. Rachel hummed as she wrote, just the music to what she dared not speak out loud:

_Falthy riding Danny, built like a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First came love, then our weirdo communal marriage… Rachel left all alone with the baby carriage._

She would have cried if it weren't so true, the fleeting memories and the romance of it all, even after everything went horribly wrong… Still so good, and sweet. After the tragedy, there was a delicious sort of aftertaste…

"Damn, now _I_ want some chocolate cake."

Author's Note:

So when is this getting updated? Try months from now when the MLFMP series is over. I just couldn't wait to post it. Also, don't smack me for doing it this way... Ow!


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